Letters to Santa
by MysticSorceror
Summary: Imagine if there was Christmas in Japan, what would the Sohma family ask for? What would Tohru? Find out in a series of poems about what is REALLY wanted for the holiday season.
1. Yuki

Dear Santa,

It seems a bit strange writing, as if you're alive. I don't believe that you are, such silly nonesense for a seventeen year old to try, but she makes me feel that the impossible is real. So here goes my shot at a Santa letter, something that I never did as a child but I'm doing now:

Dear Santa

What I'd like this year

It isn't something that you can wrap up in a box

And only two people have tried to give it so far

Strength

Now I don't expect to have a way out of the curse

I've asked for that too many times

But I'd like strength

To keep myself from Akito

To show what I truly am

I don't possess that courage

It's as true as my Zodiac says it

I'm more of a mouse than of a man

But I'd like to have the strength to do what I've wanted

The strength to tell my mother to stop organising my life

She's never cared about me

So I won't give her the power

I want to be able to choose my own life

Not be under the ladies beck and call

To wear the clothes I want, to be the person I am

Do they not understand that

I'd like the strength to say the things I said at the beginning

To run away from this family

To make my own destiny

Rather than being around Kyo the whole time

I don't possess strength now

The strength that Tohru Honda finds in me

But I'm trying

I'm trying to gain my own strength

I just might not be quite there yet

I know that I will never have the strength of others

I am hiding

Trying to get away from Akito

If I had the strength I wouldn't be her pet

So please

If a seventeen year old boy

Dealing with the pressures of being in high school

Can ask you anything

It's this

For a small bit of strength

So my future isn't descided without me

So that I won't lose hope

That is all that I ask for this year

Yuki Sohma


	2. Haru

Dear Santa:

Okay, it seems strange that I'm writing but what's the deal, I mean, I have all these words inside of me, they have to come out sometimes, so here goes.

Hey Santa

What I'd like can't be wrapped in a box

I'd like something to give protection

Not to me, I've learnt to take care of myself

I've learnt that

Although I may be called slow and stupid

I've learnt how to protect myself

From the real morons outside

Their comments

They don't mean very much

Let them speak about me

I don't care, at least I can hear them

No, it's not for me

I have strength enough to stand up to them

But for Rin

Her strength is dwindling fast

Having a family pretending for you

It makes it so that you don't want to touch another person

I want to touch her

I need her to be safe and happy

I'd like her to have physical and emotional support

And some protection

And for Yuki

He never had much strength to start out with

Locked away from society for so long

It meant a lot that sensei took him in

But Sensei isn't protection enough

And sometimes Sensei can't be trusted

So if he were to show his true colors

Yuki would fall as he has before

That time he stopped talking to us

In his hiding

Now that time would hurt

And if Yuki isn't protected

That time may come again and it would hurt

Ten times as badly

So Santa, if you exist or something

Please protect these two

I don't want anything for myself

Just for these two to be safe

Thanks

Hatsuharu Sohma


	3. Kisa

Dear Santa

I know that sometimes when I ask for things you don't bring them, I'm sorry, I don't expect to be counted like that, but I'd like to be. Um...here's my list Santa, please, if it's too hard, don't worry, I'm alright...I'll be alright.

Dear Santa

What I'd like this year is a friend

I'd like someone to laugh with

And spend time with

Someone who can talk with me

About the good times

And the bad times

Someone who I can share my pain with

Who will understand me

I know that Hiro is my friend

And so is sissy

But that isn't what I'd like

I feel selfish for asking

But can I have a friend who I go to school with

So we can walk together

And laugh over our grades

And the teachers

Someone who'll like the movies we go to see together

Someone who'll like playing DDR with me

Even if I lose

I'd like someone to be there for me

To want to listen to my ideas

And agree with me at times

I don't mind the arguments

But I do want someone to care about me

I'm thankful that people care about me

Yun and Haru do as well as Hiro and sissy

But they can't be my friend all the time

They can't go to school with me

And wear the same uniform

Please  
If it wouldn't be too much trouble

Could I have a friend

I don't want to be alone anymore

Thankyou Santy

Kisa Sohma


	4. Momiji

Dear Santa

Hi Santa, It's Momiji Sohma, I really hope that you're having a good time did Momo already send you her list. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with wiriting to you at sixteen so here goes.

Santa  
What I'd love  
More than anything else this year  
Is a family  
I'd like a home  
Where when I come in  
My parents are concerned about my day  
And they're ready to listen

I wish for just once I could open the door to the dining room  
Walk in and then smile  
Since I would come across a dinner  
With my own place  
We would all laugh and smile with each other  
Mama, Papa, Momo and I  
Sadly, that can't be

I don't have a family  
And as much as I want one I'm losing it more each day  
I want Momo to eat her meals with me  
I hope I'm not being selfish asking that

Ha'ri's a good guardian and he listens to me when I need someone  
But, Hatori isn't my parent  
I can't impose myself on him too much  
Sadly that is something I'd hate to do

Papa goes to my teacher conferences  
But is that enough?  
He doesn't seem to care about me either  
Not anymore  
He's pretending isn't he?  
I make it so that his family isn't complete  
And I'm sorry  
I just wish that for once

I could say goodnight to Mama and Papa and Momo  
Before going upstairs  
That I could lay next to Momo in bed  
And tell her the stories  
About what I know  
And what I've learnt  
I'm sure she'll enjoy these stories Santa  
It's becomming impossible to even hope for this anymore

But Santa,  
If you're listening to me  
That's what I want  
To be included,  
I want to be included in my family.

Momiji Sohma


	5. Hatori

Dear Santa

Oh god this is ridiculous, for Aya, of all people to have me write one of these. I don't have time for this, I have people to see for their checkups and I don't want things to be like this. But still, I'm sitting down writing this, a letter to Santa and all because of the Mabudachi Trio.

Dear Santa

I'd like a chance

I don't quite deserve it

I see half-blindly that Kana gave me happiness

And happiness of that matter is more than I deserve

However I'd like a second chance

Not only of love but on something I'm lacking

Of happiness

I'm sitting here day after day

With no one beside me

Just the click of the door when Momiji returns

An occasional phone call

And the feeling of companionship has become so strange

I just accept that this happens

No one can mend my eye

That kind of medical improvement has not been done

And I can't be someone else

That is ridiculous

Living outside ones own body

But I would like to see myself happy

I don't quite know why a fictitious character is asking you for this

This must be strange

I'm twenty eight, dear god

But inside I feel so much older

As if I've been hollowed for a century

That is why before it is too late, I ask for it

A second chance of happiness

Few can actually see past my exterior

Am I that cold?

I try to help everyone else

So that they are safe and happy

Only a couple actually understand that right now

I'm not happy but I'm trying to be

I'm trying so hard to be happy

But I've lost hope on it

So Santa if you are actually real

Please allow me to be happy

Only for a couple of seconds

At least I would know what it felt like

To be happy once more

To be happy to be alive

Hatori Sohma


	6. Ayame

**Dearest Santa**

Well as a true and loyal fan of the spirit of celebrating a Holiday, I Ayame Sohma, have devoted my life to being able to write the perfect Christmas list. As you will read it I am sure that the tears will flow from your eyes at my hearts dearest and fondest wish. So Santa, this is for you

What I'd like in this lifetime

May be untouchable

I've nearly lost it a couple of times

I've nearly hurt him even more than that

My brother

My dearest younger brother,

Yuki

How my heart weeps at the fact that

These brotherly bonds have been shattered

That's what I'd like for Christmas, Santa

A connection with my brother

Something stronger than the turns of time

More bonding than I may ever know

But Santa

This world is something new

That I may not know

But I'd like to experience it with him

What I'm asking for this year

Is Yuki to be around me

For me to actually spend time with my baby brother

To tell him just how much I love him

And allow him to come to me with his problems

Why should I be blessed this way?

I ask myself the same question

I don't expect Yuki to look at me

But I do desire him to

I hope that someday I can make him happy

And then I'll gain this present

The one thing I want more than anything

A meaningful bond with my baby brother

Thankyou for lending me your ear

And please give Yuki all the help he needs

Ayame Sohma


	7. Rin

Dear Santa

Why am I writing to you? Like everyone else I doubt that you'll listen to me, are you pretending to be nice to all those children as my parents were to me? I don't understand...is this a game to you adults? Something, that even now I remain too young to understand?

What I'd like this Christmas

Can't be something that people would give

I'd like for the act to never begin again

False happiness is a cause of death

I wish instead to see the truth

To see if anyone is looking for me

Wishing to hold me

And not pretending

As they so often are

I want to be here strong

And make sure that they don't feel guilt

Or pity me

But look upon me with their heart

And not their head

Make sure that they aren't pretending

Making themselves miserable

To provide my own happiness

Haru seems to be the only one to feel that way

Not hiding from me his true feelings

And that's why I have to protect him

He goes black so often

But that is why I love him

He isn't hiding himself

He isn't taking part in some play

This life isn't an act to him

He cares

He cares too much to make things clear

I'd like to see what people are thinking

What my own parents are thinking?

Do they care about me

No

That's why I hate her

Her smile is false

There's pain behind that

And she won't let it out

Tohru Honda, she won't

This Christmas I want to see the world for what it is

I have gone through enough pain to understand it

I want to see bad people for bad people

And good people for good people

So that I will never again rely on false hope

So that I will never again fall upon my beliefs

Please help me do that

I don't know what I'll see

But if I see the truth, then that is the beautiful thing

Rin Sohma


	8. Hiro

Dear Santa

Yeah, I know that you don't exist. What do you think I am...a kid? Is that all you ever think I am, I'm twelve years old, definitely too old to write this letter and I'm not a kid...don't call me a kid.

Hey Santa

If you're as special as they all think you are

Grant me something

Show me something that's perfect

There's something wrong with everything

It's too big, it's too small

That's what people say about my age

I know from what they've said that

I am definitely not perfect

I've seen from what I've been through

That I never will

But if there's anything that's possible

Then I want a perfect Christmas

No one crying

No adults acting like children

And their children acting like adults

But white snow

Happiness

Something that Kisa would enjoy

If they think their thoughts are better

Hell

They think all wrong

In these close-minded circles

I can't stand them

They think they're perfect

They're ridiculous to think that

In this time there are no princes

Do you think there are?

Are you truly that dense

I don't care what you think of me

But if a Father Christmas exists

I'm sure that he can prove it

And the way to do that would be to give this gift

A perfect Christmas

With nothing wrong with it

But you can't do that can you?

Nothing is perfect

Life doesn't work like that

Hiro Sohma


	9. Ritsu

Dear Santa

Oh god, I'm sorry, I am so sorry, please, please, I am sorry for bothering you! You must be so busy! And now you have received my letter as well! I'm sorry! I'm wasting your time! I am so sorry! Umm...as I was saying

Santa

Might it be possible

This Christmas

To be forgiven

I'm sorry to ask but I just need to know

If I can stop apologising now

I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask for so much

My parents need to be forgiven

And I'm sorry that I'm rambling

But if I could be forgiven

Perhaps then

Perhaps I could be a little happier

I feel so bad about this

They're hurting over me

My own parents

And I'm sorry

I am so sorry

I bring so much shame to the Sohma family

I don't want to be a burden

My mother is always making excuses

And the clothes I wear aren't normal

Some people don't think I have strength

I know that I don't

I'm a coward

And I'm sorry that I am

Really I'm very sorry I can't be stronger

I'm sorry my parents are always apologising for me

I don't want them to

I want to be someone who they see

Someone who they look up to

I'm sorry for asking you this

But if it might be so helpful

That you'll make it so that I can be happy

That I can finally be forgiven

Then I think that the people around me

And myself included

Will be much happy

Oh dear

I'm sorry

I must have wasted so much time by saying that

And I know how busy you are

I'm not important

Ignore me! Oh please ignore me!

But Santa..if you do give me a gift

I don't want to be a bother and ask for anything big

I'm sorry for everything

Just please allow for my sins to be forgiven

Ritsu Sohma


	10. Kureno

Dear Santa

I have written one of these in a while, I suppose in my sheltered life I haven't done much, that's why I wanted to know Santa, even if I have grown up from that soft brown hared boy you are still out there, sadly I believe it, Santa, please listen.

What I'd like this year

Is the ability to make my own choices

It isn't exactly freedom

Since I would be imprisoning myself to the public

I would be acting as one of them

Conforming

But I would like my own choices

Some things just happen

I would like to go back to the store

And see her

If only for a moment, or a second

I don't understand myself

This world of mine

It's strange and I don't know

I have always been with Akito

Taking care of her

I feel sad that these are the binds that tie me to the world

But that's what my world is

I don't understand this

A world in which I can't make choices

Was that what I was born into?

Why can't I make these choices

Just because I have been released

Have my birds wings been cut off

Deep down I still remain part of the Zodiac

As a sad little bird

I was released because I thought it was good

Now my wings are vanished

They have fallen off

Because they say that I am not a bird

Yet inside

I am caged

A single bird in a cage

Unsure about the world

So Santa, I wish for my life to be run

By myself

To go where I choose

To like what I choose

To take a career

And a job

I'd like to find some opportunities

That are out there waiting for me

But before I can do that

I need to make my own choices

So please Santa

Give me the rights to decide for myself

What my life means

Kureno Sohma


	11. Shigure

Dear Santa

Hey there, I bet you're kicking back with those female elves this time of the year, oh how I envy people who can do that, and then for all those young girls who idolise you, why I wish I would be them. SItting down and just laughing with people around me, having girls sit on my lap.So Santa, this one is yours. And as an author note if anyone spoils this character for me you will lose your life, he is my love.

Dear Santa

What I'd like to have this Christmas

Is a pure heart

Actually screw that

Such thinking as that keeps us in this curse

I will never be saintly

I can only attempt to make it so

But I'm using people for my gain

They can't see past me

They fall for my voice, my words

I have a dark inside

I can't believe how much I've changed

I don't want this anymore

But I've been living this life

I have to raise my head

In shadows I have to hide myself

Playing with Akito's emotions to become close

I talk about love as if I desire it

I'm too busy for that right now

I let a strange girl into my house

Because I felt something from her

That she was the one to come into my house

Sometimes I wish I was how I was in highschool

But that doesn't mean anything

I didn't gain anything from then

I was happy

But I didn't know true happiness

I was foolish thinking something would break the curse

That some day I'd be free

I have to work on that myself

My freedom

My Power

So ask me again what I'd like

And I'll ask you for this

I want power

I want more power than Akito

I want a life that people will feel drawn to

So that I may use them for my own goal

For my own life

I don't want them thinking that I'm just a pervert

That's not seeing the true me

Because inside they all can't see my darkness

That pouring darkness from a black heart

From a hollow heart

From the heart that is power-hungry

Hand me that power Santa

If you do anything else for me

Give me power over the people around me

Give me power to choose my destiny.

Shigure Sohma


	12. Kagura

Dear Santa

I guess it's pretty weird writing to you and since I'm a female at a womans college the girls would mock me if they found this, but I think it's worth it in a number of ways

Santa

What I'd appreciate this year

Is my face to be washed

I'm sick of looking into my reflection

And finding myself to be there

I tried to go after someone because of pity

I don't understand why

Pity took over my life

But I want to change that now

I taught myself to love

Love should come naturally

But not like that

Never like that

To teach yourself love is a problem

I wish I could be like Momiji

Not the family issues

But the happiness

Saying things truthfully

Not minding who hears

Having no selfish desire

Than to be loved himself

Or Haru

Who doesn't mind what the public says

He just takes it

Straight honest face

And if there's a problem

He confronts it

He attacks people

I, I think I've done a bad thing

I've manipulated people for so long

To have myself feeling good

I've pushed them down and abused them

Some days my reflection scares me

I have my mother

Some of the Sohma's don't even have that

And yet they feel like kids in a game

I treasure the moments

When I used to go to a place

With nothing at all to do

Just to be able to talk to Kyo

But that's where things went wrong

I slowed down  
I manipulated

I've run water over my face so many times

But it's not yet clean

What I'd like this year

Is a fresh start

An honest heart

And most importantly

A clean face

Kagura Sohma


	13. Kyo

Dear Santa

Hey there you phoney, what you think I'm stupid? Too stupid to be seen as in any light as smart? Listen, I don't really care if you think I'm smart or not, that isn't for you to decide so...leave me alone, you don't know me, you're not my parent.

Hey but Santa

What I'd like right now

Is to beat that damn dirty rat

I want my freedom

I don't want to be locked in a room

Waiting for eternity

Waiting for death

I wanna beat that damn rat!

That stinking

Filthy

Putrid rat!

He ruined my life I tell you!

That's it...

He ruined my life

If it wasn't for him my mum might not have killed herself

Not that she could look upon me

Or understand

That I was hideous monster

Or say that I frightened her

She didn't do that

She just accepted the fact

And inside died so slowly that it still hurts

I see him there

Student council president

Accepting this as it is

I try to be nice to him

All I get is a slap in the face

That's all I'm ever going to get isn't it

Unless I beat him

I don't want power or nothing

That damn dog wants power I can see it

Looking at him

Hell  
I just want what most people take for granted

My freedom

Not to be stuck in one place

Not to be stuck in solitude

He actually takes it as a given

Hiding behind Shigure

That's all he has to do isn't it

I'm jealous of him

He isn't caught under a bracelet

He didn't kill his own mother

That's why I have to beat him

I can't live this way anymore

I can't live this life

I can't live

Without freedom

Kyo Sohma


	14. Akito

Santa

Why should I have to write to you? You should be bowing down to me on bended knee, oh cruel Father Christmas, but...in this deep hole no one does that anymore.

Santa

What I'd like this year

Is for someone to love me unconditionally

Not caring if I'm male or female

Not caring what happens

I don't want to be left alone

People come

But soon, once again

They'll leave

Shigure gave me a flower

But what does that mean

He calls that revolting Tohru Honda

His flower

I can't stand her

The way that everyone is in love with her

The love she's taken away from me

Don't I deserve it

I was told I'd be appreciated

Even my own mother doesn't appreciate me

That's the reason that Kureno can escape

Because of what he provided for her

Why don't people want that from me

Do they have to believe

That I stand before them as a monster

It's their own protection

Without me they wouldn't be happy

Without me they'd have danger

But they don't care

They don't stop to think about what I do for them

All of them

Because they don't care

I have to make them care

All my property, each and every one

Do you look in my eyes

No! I don't see you

You don't see me as how I am

The overall god of the Sohma clan

No

To you I'm a demon

Set to ruining your lives

Set to ruining every future love

Every future hope

Aspiration

Desire

I've had enough

Make them look at me in love

They should all love me

More than anyone else in the world

I deserve that, right?

Akito Sohma


	15. Tohru Final One

Santa

Listen, I don't want to ask for too much, I feel bad wanting something every day, I have a nice home here and good friends, people around me care about me and I feel a sense of happiness but inside, there's one thing I'd still like.

Santa

If I could get anything

Then please turn back time

I know that it's hard

I'm sorry if I'm asking too much

I'm still sorry

But Santa  
If you could give me anything

It wouldn't necessarily be to leave the Sohma's

They make me happy

Yun-kun and Kyo-kun

And Shigure-san as well

I want to help them

But inside I'm still lost

I want my mother

I care about her more than anything

And even if she's not here

It still hurts

How I can't find her

She's not here anymore

I don't think that mum would like it

If I didn't graduate high school

I want to see her smiling face

And hear her praise

I learnt a long while ago

That sometimes

In the middle of a Fruits Basket

There will be an onigiri

Mum made me feel better about that

I still feel that I don't belong anymore

This world

It's so cold and distrusting

I might not belong in the Sohma's world

They have their curses

All of them have such sad lives

That I want to help them

I want to break the curse

In order to help them

But I don't want that any more

I want to be with the one person I belong with

Somehow I don't think she's dead

I don't want her dead

Do you hurt me by thinking that?

At the end of the tunnel there's a light

I want the light I've always known

I don't want to battle not to get anywhere

I keep it silent mostly

But more than anything Santa

Please give my mother one more chance

To be with me

Tohru Honda


End file.
